Times call for lemonade, it is a turning point in our lives again. Did I see this coming? I don't know. Did I wish for this? sure, but the fear of it all over rides the immense weight that it once carried. I became a statistic today, I am one of the 15% of NV that is unemployed. Due to the recession my employer had to let me go. I believe that she was emotionally touched today. . . hard for one to believe if you knew her. I also know that she is a business women and must keep her business and family a float.
These things are not what effect me most.
I fear being unemployed, I am not one who is without a job, even in the days when I was using or unhealthy I still maintained employment, mostly because I had 3 young boys to support. I would like to believe that is what I am good at, being an employee.
I can't even comprehend the amount of fear and pressure I am putting on myself at this point in time. The emotions have not even caught up to me yet. It is still all fresh. . . this may have been something that I was hoping for but still not prepared for. I know the toxic environment that I was in and how it allowed me to stay in my sick place. This will give me the opportunity for growth and change. Something I long for. This will give me the chance to show myself that I am more than just a provider, that I can be the stereotypical female, housewife and PTA mom...ha ha you might chuckle a little if you knew me. So there it is folks, expect to hear (read) more from me, seeing as I have a bit more time on my hands now a days...
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